hang that hang-a-star

taekwondo is taking its toll on me, i think. there was definitely the constant motivational factor of collegiate nationals, and now that it's gone, well, i'd still like to compete as much as i can, but i've become much more lazy about it.

every day it's an uphill battle to motivate myself to work out. why, i ask, am i torturing myself to lose weight, when all i want to do is eat delicious foods that i don't have to cook? (the joy of eating well cooked meals that you don't have to make is indescribable.) more importantly, like studying, there is a form of procrastination for taekwondo, and the guilt that comes with it. weekends are always the worst because i spend most of my time either sitting at home playing oblivion, or at the track/gym or surfing. and because the last two activities take up the tiniest portion of my weekend hours, my mind unavoidably berates my body for being so lazy. but damnit, i don't feel like going to the track, and i don't feel like going to oceanside.

well, financially it's also a pain in the butt, especially because i've been procrastinating about finalizing my portland trip. so today i decide to look up hotels and pay for the registration for the tournament this sunday. and i find that hang-a-star, the registration system, has charged me a $50 late fee because you have to have sent in all the materials (including payment) in order to be considered part of the early registration crowd.

that reason alone made me want to not go to portland - and considering that it'll probably be my only qualifier for nationals...i considered retiring from taekwondo. maybe it's just that time.

so it's funny how my situation can change quickly, because when alicia paid off her registration fees, the $50 charge disappeared. maybe a glitch in the system? maybe they'll charge me at the registration table? maybe they displayed the wrong info but really charged me $130? i don't know. but since at the current situation, cancelling my plane ticket would cost more than going even with the extra fee, i'm planning to go to portland. and this means i will probably be motivated enough to go to kansas city...then to senior nationals.

how does a glitch in a software system determine my path in life?