eta 4 days

i've arrived at the foot of the mountain. no, i think i'm at the last plateau before the summit. so maybe i've been taking the winding lazy path up recently...and there are definitely times when i've slipped and fallen back down. and then there are times when i've looked up at a vertical face and thought, i'll never be able to traverse this point.

i don't know what i'll do when i get to the summit. even from here i'm looking back down toward the road home and wanting to take it all the way down. and to never turn around to start climbing again. and from here i see another peak, and yet another, looming larger in the distance, but none have ever been my mt everest as this collegiate nationals has been, and i don't think any will ever be unless i really make the push for national taekwondo achievements. and i don't know if i have the legs, the joints, the heart for those mountains.

maybe the meaning of beyond the break is actually that...life after the final climb? what is life after collegiate nationals? what have i been doing for the last EIGHT months, but blindly pursuing a dream, not to win, not to place my flag on the peak, but just to be able to make the race to the top? and from there i will jump just to see how high i can reach before falling. and whether from this vantage point i can find the right path, or even the right compass direction, because there is no one road but every direction is a destiny from there. and will there be more mountains, or maybe a lush rich valley, or just fog and clouds?