moving day catharsis

this morning when i drove out from the peaceful residential area near harvard square i understood why annual moving is such a necessity to me. even though having to rent a uhaul, packing mostly the night before, and recently, moving for three or four days straight in little trips every hour, is such a pain in the ass, it is a cathartic event. my old apartment is almost completely empty of my belongings. it's a way to clean up your life. maybe, to wipe clean all the surfaces, and leave an old room empty, and to eventually fill a new empty room. i dropped off steven at his bed and breakfast and the summer ended. i left behind all the chaos of subletting, packing, scheduling, making things workout and ends meet.

maybe it's also a bit different this year. for the next couple of weeks i don't have to worry about unpacking any of my old life. instead, it's going to sit in cardboard boxes and black trash bags in a basement, and i will probably drift on the graces of friends and my car. it's not nearly as a complete severing of worldly possessions as the epic trip of self discovery of our friend, the supersalsaman, zebo, but it does feel liberating to have nothing but an empty room and a futon to sit in. maybe i'll just throw away the boxes when i get my new place.

and what of next year? if i end up buying a house, i will have a place that i could nest down. but i dont think i'd do that. i can almost see my three year plan: i'd get tired of living in a small house in east cambridge, and move out next year to a large empty studio (much like 456 putnam, one of my favorite homes) and rent it to people. then the following year i'd get tired of boston and move back to san diego, leaving behind a mortgage (or investment). then i'd become lonely again in sd despite the surf and the fantastic korean bbqs, and finally move to sf. but there it begins again, the initial apartment that isn't as ideal, the upgrade that is financially sound, then the househunting.

without all the chaos, life would become stagnant. the reward of sacrificing a few days in your life before september 1 to reorganize, rebuild, and clean it up, is a calm, fresh feeling of finally having a place of your own (again).